Bartender says, “We don’t have grapes here.  We have beer, whiskey, and wine.  Now get outta here.”

Next day the iPhone comes back to the bar and says, “You got any grapes?”

Bartender says, “Listen iPhone, I told you yesterday.  We don’t have grapes, just beer, whiskey, and wine.  Leave.”

Third day in a row, the iPhone comes back to the bar and again asks, “You got any grapes?”

Bartender says, “iPhone, iHad it with ya.  Like I says, we only got beer, whiskey, and wine.  You come in here again asking for grapes and I’m gonna drive a nail right through your precious little touch screen into the bar.”

Fourth day, the iPhone walks into the bar and says, “You got any nails?”

Bartender says “No.”

iPhone says, “Good!  You got any grapes?”

Nyuck nyuck nyuck!

Typing on an iPhone is a frustrating endeavor at best, so why would anyone want an app like this? The beauty, as I see it at least, is the ability to capture ideas while you’re on the go.

UPDATE: BlogWriter crashed the first time I attempted to publish this post. After I relaunched the app, the post went through.

Money is tight in 2010, so with a sense of sadness and impatience, we must often wait to own our beloved new gadget. Or we dip into college or retirement savings. The Onion hilariously captured our lemming-like excitement over new gadgets in this piece from December ‘09.

But consider this: you can add life to your existing gadget for little money, and have a sense of a new machine. I recommend the Gadget Spa Day, having done this recently with my iPhone.  For instance:

1. Put a new screen protector in place. I prefer a matte finish so my fingerprints and face don’t muck up an otherwise beautiful machine. Learn how to place the screen on correctly and avoid trapping dust and making bubbles. It requires a little dexterity, and perhaps the technique is worthy of its own post.  But if you get frustrated, take a deep breath, and say to yourself, “Yes we can!”.

2. Get a new protective case. Let’s face it. iPhone cases get scratched up easily and look nasty quickly. And that zebra pattern your using? SO 2009. I love the new iFrogz case I purchased, which is mostly hard plastic with a small rubberish section to keep it from sliding off smooth surfaces.

3. Clean up your apps. When’s the last time you played the bubble wrap or toilet paper game? If you or the kids haven’t used an app in a month, kill it, even if you paid for it.  The Rocket Matter iPhone version is the only exception to this rule. Once you’re done, apply all the updates so you don’t have to stare at the annoying red number on the App Store icon.

Computer Spa Day

When you’re working on your actual systems, you can give them a performance boost just by turning off the amount of programs that run on startup. You’ll boot faster and run faster. Just be careful you don’t turn off anything important, like printer drivers or something.  But c’mon, do you really need Quicktime and Java scanning for updates? Do Skype and Scansnap Manager really need to launch when your system does?

Windows users can go to Start->Run…, then type “msconfig” and type on the “Startup” tab. Don’t turn off anything important.  When in doubt, leave it.

Mac users can go to System Preferences -> Accounts, highlight an account, click Login Items, then remove the items you don’t want on the list.

Another way to revamp on Spa Day? Clean up your destkop. Remove icon clutter safely by reading this post. Get some cool new wallpaper. There are plenty of free sites, including Desktopography, Simple Desktops, or Interface Lift.

It’s like a fresh coat of paint for your trusted machine.  You don’t have to waste time migrating data, you don’t get stuck with version one of the latest gadget, and you save a little dough as well.

Would love to hear your Gadget Spa Day tips!  Leave a comment so we can hear your rejuvenation tips and tricks.

Ben is a very knowledgeable guy, and in addition to his popular blog, is the co-founder of the Macs in Law Offices Google Group, authored the ABA Journal’s Mac v PC cover story, and is a host on the MILO podcast.

You can follow his experiences, including using Rocket Matter on his new 3G iPhone, and his initial thoughts concerning his Rocket Matter switch.

Thanks for the kind words, Ben!

Those cool buttons on your home screen? Those are technically called badges. And for those of you thinking “badges? we don’t need no steenking badges“, in this case, it’s very convenient and looks super-cool.

1. Navigate to your Rocket Matter login page and tap +.
2. Tap “Add to Home Screen.”
3. You have a chance to edit the icon’s name. Type “RM” or “Rocket” or “Rocket Matter” or whatever your preferred nickname is for Rocket Matter!
4. You’re done.

1. Optimized iPhone experience: Use your Contacts and Calendar in a much more fluid way on your iPhone. You can navigate this information just as you would a playlist. Make phone calls and send emails directly from Rocket Matter! And if you want to bill on the road, you can still launch the full normal view of Rocket Matter.
2. To-Do list improvements: Based on feedback from our users, we changed the To-do list behavior on your User Dashboard to include all to-do items you have across all matters. Now you can really apply Getting Things Done principles with Rocket Matter!
3. Better Pending Bills screen: Instead of providing you with a date range, we now provide you with a billing date field that shows you all matters that are ready to be billed, whether they have recent activity, the client has a balance, or a contingency case has been closed. You can also filter by dollar amount, if you don’t wish to bill items with a little activity.

We also addressed the following issues:

1. Added stability to the Add Matter wizard.
2. Added additional validation to the Add Matter wizard.