“When I was a kid I used to walk uphill to school. Five miles. Both ways!” Hearing the old war stories of one’s parents is part of life.
If you’re like me, you’re probably already engaging in similar dribble with your children: “When I was a kid, we couldn’t see our photos instantly. We used to have to take them to a camera store and wait a week!” Or: “When I was a kid, we couldn’t pause T.V.”.
So as lawyers now have amazing new technologies like cloud case management software, the business of law is made much easier. Here’s how attorneys who’ve adopted such solutions might sound to junior associates of the future:
1) When I was a junior associate, we didn’t have one consolidated database. Everybody ran Outlook and we were constantly out of synch. When a client came in, we each had to enter the client information 5 times! And if I entered the information wrong, my paralegal would bloody my knuckles.
2) When I was a junior associate, we didn’t have fancy electronic message taking. We used to use these things called “pink message pads!” I would buy a dozen of them and a knish on my way to the movies for a quarter.
3) When I was a junior associate, we couldn’t access our matters from any computer anywhere. We had to log into our computers at work using Citrix. Or Remote Desktop. And that’s if we were lucky!
4) When I was a junior associate, we couldn’t run invoicing in a couple of minutes. We had to shut the whole firm down for a day or two, go through our notes, calendars, and build up our invoices from scratch. In five feet of snow!
5) When I was a junior associate, we couldn’t just get new information on our smartphones over the air. We had these things called cradles, and you’d actually have to plug the smartphone into the computer! And gas was a nickel!
6) When I was a junior associate, we didn’t instantly call up our files on the computer. We had these huge things called filing cabinets where we put all the paper. It took 15 minutes just to find what you’re looking for, and that’s if you were lucky. And you didn’t deserve to call yourself an attorney if you didn’t lose at lease two fingers in a filing cabinet accident.
7) When I was a junior associate, we couldn’t just click someone’s telephone number and initiate a phone call. We had to look it up in Outlook, then dial it on the phone, and you never knew if you had to dial a ‘one’ or the area code. And half the time, you’d electrocute yourself.
8 ) When I was a junior associate, we didn’t have the calendar integrated with the contact manager integrated with the matters integrated with documents integrated with what you had for goldarned lunch. We had all that stuff in different pieces and had to tape it all together. And it broke 5 times a year and we’d have to pay some guy with greasy hair and a Star Wars t-shirt to come out and fix it!